


Probie Talk

by LittleSammy



Category: NCIS
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-21
Updated: 2012-04-21
Packaged: 2017-11-04 02:19:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/388613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleSammy/pseuds/LittleSammy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ziva and McGee and the ghosts of the really, really bad Halloween costume that Tony's been parading around... Think of this as my explanation of "Cracked". ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Probie Talk

**Author's Note:**

> Begins directly after 8x06 "Cracked" and yes, mild spoilers for that episode.

McGee blinks a few times while he desperately tries to wipe the image of cheap polyester and a bad wig out of his brain. It takes him a full minute until he can concentrate on the search he is running again, and that's saying something. He shakes his head as if to clear it but even that that doesn't help all that much.

Usually he loves the moments when Tony embarrasses himself but this time his eyes just hurt too much to enjoy the idiocy. This was a new low, even for Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo.

"Found something," Ziva chirps from her desk, and he looks up just in time to see her wave her hand in his direction. Thank God, work distraction.

He pushes his chair back and walks over to Ziva, moving behind her so he can get a good look at her screen. Tony, given the same opportunity, would have instantly molded himself to the Israeli's back, but McGee values his ability to use his fingers too much to copy that behavior so he just leans back against the file cabinet and stares at her screen while she points at a few lines here and there.

"See these dates? And the corresponding letters here..." McGee nods and Ziva opens a new file, copies the data to it and starts typing her comments.

Tim watches her silently for a while, and because he agrees with her conclusions and because she does all the typing and conclusing, he has too much brain capacity left unoccupied, so his thoughts wander back to polyester soon.

He shudders and stares towards the elevator involuntarily. "I wonder why he keeps doing that to himself," he murmurs.

Ziva shrugs noncommittally. "He is still very busy with running away, McGee."

That grabs his interest and even though part of him knows that maybe he shouldn't go there, the parts that have been friends with Abby for several years can't wait for the gossip. He leans forward, curious now.

"Running away?" he asks. "From what?"

"Oh, the usual." She shrugs again, not looking at him. "His age. Growing up. The inevitable."

"Huh," he says and rolls that around in his head. And because it sounded suspiciously to him like the last part demanded a capitalization, he adds, "What's The Inevitable?" He watches her back and waits for an answer, and it takes a whole minute for the idea to sink in that none is coming. "Ziva? I said--"

"I heard you, McGee," she says in a soft singsong voice and keeps typing.

He, in turn, keeps wondering and stares at her back while he tries to get it. And suddenly, just when he has stopped expecting for it to make sense, something clicks in his mind and he gets it after all. He gets it from the way her shoulders are just slightly stiffer than usual. From the way she suddenly keeps hammering away on her keyboard in a strangely precise rhythm. From the way she keeps her eyes pointedly fixed on the screen now.

"No," he says, disbelief ringing loud in his voice. His eyes widen while he tries to wrap his mind around this new concept. "Nooo."

For a few more minutes, he just blinks and keeps watching the back of her head. She keeps ignoring it. 

And he tries to let it slide, tries to hit _delete! delete!_ as fast and hard as he can for that particular piece of information. But he can't let it go because he is too stumped and so, after a few more endless moments of thick silence, he opens his mouth again and blurts out, "You really want... _that?_ "

His hand makes confused little wriggly motions in the general direction of the elevator, and Ziva must have seen that reflected in her screen because she suddenly laughs. It's a soft and strangely gentle sound and that baffles Tim even more because he isn't used to hearing her voice like that.

"Certainly not, McGee," she chuckles. "I have other... preferences..."

"Please stop right there!" he groans and even raises his hands as if to cover his ears.

She gives him that weirdly gentle laugh again while she keeps typing and doesn't miss a single key. "I was simply referring to the grown man hidden inside the obnoxious boy," she says. Her tone of voice is strangely soft all of a sudden and even her fingers move slower now, much more gentle. They suddenly tap the keyboard in a way that makes McGee think of caresses, and that is another image he wants to bleach out of his brain as soon as it comes up because Ziva will kill him if she even suspects he's thinking caress-thoughts about her.

"Well, on days like these, he's hidden pretty deep," he remarks nervously. "Are you sure he's in there at all?"

She smiles and keeps typing for a few seconds more before she saves the file and turns around in her chair. "He's in there, McGee," she says, then cocks her head and watches him, pondering. "You have seen him, too."

He's confused by the weird mix of composure and uncharacteristic emotion fluttering across her face. Or maybe he's just confused by the fact that they suddenly seem to have a girl talk moment and he didn't see that one coming.

"Yeah, well, maybe the man part is the act?" he offers, not quite convinced.

Something happens to her face then and he isn't quite sure what to make of her expression except that he gets the feeling that for a moment she's really thinking about his words.

"I do not think so, no," she replies after a while, then turns back to her desk and closes the file. "He could not lie then. At least not to me."

And she's right, of course. McGee has seen it. And he knows how Tony can be when he... no, not really when he wants to be but rather when he lets his guard down. When he gets his shit together and locks away the insufferable joker for the while it takes to finish the job.

"And now you're, what? Waiting for Manly Tony to come out and play?" He winces and raises a hand to retrieve the words before the sentence is even finished. "That... sounded bad..."

She agrees with a chuckle while she powers down her computer and packs up her stuff. McGee watches the slight smile that plays around her mouth, and it confuses him even more to see the relaxed patience spread through her.

"Are you not bothered by the Ethels?" He hears the words rush out of his mouth and wants to kick himself because that clearly takes the girl talk one step too far.

Ziva just blinks, though, and for a moment he can't help thinking that maybe he actually hit a nerve there. That she's bothered after all. Then she zips up her backpack and slips into her jacket.

"No," she says. "The Ethels will not bring out the man in him. They are not even the kind who _wants_ the man. And the day he realizes that, Manly Tony _will_ come out to play."

She winks at him, and McGee makes a face again, trying not to conjure up the images she intended to provoke with her words. He groans again and rubs his eyes.

"Just promise me if that ever happens--" He stops in the middle of the sentence because she just raises a questioning eyebrow at him. "Okay, okay - _when_ that happens... give a guy some warning?"

Ziva laughs, and this time it's one of the loud, slightly rude snorts he is used from her. "I will certainly do that, McGee," she says and pats his chest, and that's his sign to get up and pack his own stuff so they can ride down to the parking lot together.

"You really think he'll grow up any time soon?" he can't help asking, head lowered while he grabs his own jacket and backpack.

Ziva shrugs again. "He has already made a lot of progress."

That makes McGee stops dead in his tracks and his jaw suddenly shows a disconcerting tendency to drop to the floor. "You're kidding me, right? _That_ was progress?"

She turns and looks at him, confusion showing in her own face now. "Of course," she replies, blinking slowly as if he just said something incredibly stupid. "Didn't you notice?"

"Uhm," he says. And no, he doesn't get it, so he adds apologetically, "It was hard to look past the chest hair...?"

Ziva breaks into a giggle while she remembers that, then hooks her arm into McGee's and pulls him towards the elevator. 

"It was hideous," she agrees. "But that was the first time he was uncomfortable about it, too." She glances at him sideways to see if he understands what she means. "He was like the Tony at the end of the movie, McGee. The grown version. The one whom the costume didn't fit him anymore."

"Huh," he says and tries to ignore the fact that she still has her arm in his because not noticing it might be safer. "I suppose that makes sense..."

Ziva just smiles and pushes the elevator button. When the cabin arrives she finally lets go of McGee's arm and steps inside.

For the fraction of a second he sees her face reflected in the shiny metal wall of the elevator - calm, relaxed and strangely sure of herself. And that fraction of a second is the same moment in which a dangerous switch is flipped somewhere deep inside the Probie. 

Maybe he has worked with Tony for too long after all. Maybe he suddenly realizes that if Tony does indeed grow up soon, Timmy will have to take over the responsibilities handed down to him. 

And so, while his mouth curls into an evil, evil smile, he grabs the baton and runs with it.

"Zee-vah likes To-neeh..." he hears himself singsong after her, and even while a big fat smile splits his face he feels the unabashed horror of the rational, sensible part of himself, watching him from a few feet away and refusing to be associated with _that_ McGee. 

So that's how Tony feels most days.

Ziva's eyes narrow dangerously beside him in the elevator, and he really, really wants to stop the mocking before she makes him. And he really, really tries.

He's up to "K-I-S--" before he breaks off with a yelp of pain.


End file.
